Axe for the frozen sea

You can change your mindset . And it’s wonderful.

October 27, 2018

In this edition, we are going after what  Dr.Carol  S. Dweck is doing with her time and mind.  A world-renowned psychologist from Stanford University, Dr. Carol has been researching something very useful for us for the last so many years. Mindset is not a totally new subject for us.  However, Dr. Carol, backed by meticulous research unlock the immense potential of the idea called mindset. Here two things are pitted against each other.  Fixed mindset and the growth mindset. This is a fascinating book and we shall see here what the project of  Dr. Carol is all about.

Basically, people belong to two categories. Fixed mindset and growth mindset. The fixed mindset believes that one ’s intelligence is something very basic and one can’t do much about it. Even though one can learn new things, it’s not necessarily one can change how intelligent a  person is. Coming to personality and character also, a fixed mindset believe that, if you have a certain personality, there is nothing much you can change there. The important parts of your character cannot be changed.  Many of us may be inclined to go with these arguments as that may be the norm.   On the other hand what a person of growth mindset thinks?  He/she think that this is not the case.  No matter how intelligent you are at present, you can change quite a bit. Also, no matter what kind of a person you are, a substantial change is possible.

In fact, this possibility to look at things with a growth mindset hold immense scope in various fields. It can alter fundamentally the way we teach our children. It throws new light on bringing up champions, whether in sports or in business. It changes the way we look at relationships, in developing talents, skills and so on.

Mindset  and the child

Perhaps, the mindset studies hold the maximum promise for our children.  I don’t think any other thing occupy our minds more.   Whether a developing country or a rich country we are increasingly getting worried about our children. We try different pedagogical methods.  There is obviously an overemphasis on intelligence. The intelligent ones believe that only they are entitled to a bright future.  A majority of parents, as well as teachers, support the thinking that, the future of children is almost sealed in the school itself.  But the focus of Dr. Carol is different. She is a believer in training, clear focus, and all-out training.  Often fixed mindset limits achievement.   Even the way we praise our children matter a lot. There was an interesting experiment.  Two groups of students were given a set of problems. One group was praised for their intelligence and the other group for their efforts. Over a period of time, it was found that the group which was praised for their intelligence developed a fixed mindset and were reluctant to accept challenging problems. Perhaps they feared a failure. On the other hand, the group which was praised for their efforts were always willing for new and challenging tasks because for them everything was achievable with efforts. The point is this,

Just  because some people can do it with little or no training ,it doesnt  mean that others  can’t do it ( and  sometimes  do it even better) with training.

Negotiating  lives with a  growth mindset

Dr. Carol extends her arguments to more territories. They include sports, relationships, and business.  Everywhere the point is what comes between success and failure is how you control your mind, your desires, and your attitude to what happens in your life. In sports, Carol suggests what people usually do not advocate. She stresses the need to go after a sports item even if you feel that you are not good at it. What is more important is passion and effort. She also does not fail to tell us that sometimes being exceptionally talented can be a curse as it develops a fixed mindset and they find it unable to face their adversaries. Coming to the business world,  Dr. Carol presents us with a number of case studies where the growth mindset is in full display.

The mind holds the best clue in resolving relationship issues.  The way people approach setbacks in their relationship could vary drastically between fixed mindset and growth mindset.   Take the case of revenge.  Dr. Carol says that perhaps ‘revenge was sweet’ was coined by a person of fixed mindset because someone with a growth mindset has little taste for it.  She recollects the famous saying. ”  To understand all is to forgive all. ”  One woman hurt in a relationship says,

I am no saint , but I knew for my own peace of mind that  I had to forgive and forget . When I have my whole life waiting  for me, I am not going to live in the past.

There is nothing like a perfect relationship.  There are no relationships which are free from disagreements, compromises etc. The point is how we use them to develop more intimacy and greater understanding. Similarly, there is an option to choose forgiving, learning and moving on after rejection instead of feeling bitter and vengeful.

Conclusion 

As we have seen above,  a life anchored in a growth mindset can create wonders. It can produce heroes out of mortals.  Parents, teachers, and coaches have a major role here. Every word, every message to the child is important.  Every child should feel that he/she is not judged for some permanent traits but there is always a possibility to grow.  Similarly, every teacher is called upon to bring the slower students forward.  Some students may learn faster. But every slow learner deserves adequate opportunity to flourish.   The process of learning is the key.  The growth mindset is based on the belief in change.  The goodnews is that mindset can be changed through sustained efforts. As Carol says,

change can be tough but none says it was not worth it.  Let us remember that a growth mindset does not solve all your problems but it offers a richer life. A  life where one becomes  more open minded , more understanding  and more optimistic.

Whether you are a student, an athlete or a businessperson,  none is made for failure.  Our relationships are not designed to be ruined. They are all planned for success.  In this magnificent work, Dr. Carol Dweck takes us on a tour of the many ways we can change our destiny with a  change in our mindset.    In such a scenario,  failure becomes past and success becomes a regular habit. Relationships regain its flavor and the world gets plenty of hope to play around.

 

 

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Sumana
    October 27, 2018 at 8:24 am

    Boby, it’s a message to all of us who play varied roles in our day to day lives..As a grown up , professional individuals, as a parent… Definitely we need to change our fixed mindset to be more optimistic.

    • Reply
      Boby George
      October 28, 2018 at 7:16 am

      Exactly. I felt the book hold lessons for a diverse group. I would recommend it heavily.

  • Reply
    BOLLINENI PRABHAKAR
    October 27, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    Really very happy to say, Excellent read & Positive site. Thanks a lot and please keep up the effective work.

  • Reply
    BOLLINENI PRABHAKAR
    October 27, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    Nice Article. Thank you for sharing. Excellent read and Positive. Thanks a lot and please keep up the effective work.

    • Reply
      Boby George
      October 28, 2018 at 7:15 am

      Thank you. I shall try my best.

  • Reply
    Siby
    October 29, 2018 at 10:02 am

    You have already forced to question my attitude towards my children. Thanx. Well written.

    • Reply
      Boby George
      October 29, 2018 at 1:09 pm

      Yes Siby. The book was an eye opener to me. We all have an overfixation for intelligence.

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